#StartswithLOVE

My friend Lisa Myers and I came up with this really awesome event idea for ATS Fitness. We wanted to showcase our classes, but we also felt the need to provide an event for the community that was deeply rooted in our vision for whole person holiness. When we started dreaming we were like, "oh man, this is will be fun" but the more we've planned and prayed the greater this event became. Not because the event itself is going to be a blast, but because it has ignited some processing in our own lives. 

So, what is #startswithLOVE? #StartswithLOVE is this idea that we are all on a journey, whether we are just starting, still on it, or getting ready to go. Any journey that you go on, whether it's a spiritual journey or physical one, it begins with love. It begins with loving yourself enough to be who you are in this moment, but it also means loving yourself enough not to settle that the person who you are in this moment is all you can be. 

A couple of weeks ago I invited my little friends, Drew and Kate, to come over and bake cookies with me. I'll be honest with you, nothing brings out my type A more than doing crafts and baking with children, but it ended up being quite enjoyable!  As we were baking, I let the kids pour each ingredient in the bowl. Sweet, sweet Kate, would look in the bowl with wonder every time she’d pour something in and look up at me and say, "Are they cookies yet?" I'd say, "Not yet... but almost!" Finally, they were cookies and we got to delight in the ooey, gooey goodness of warm chocolate chip cookies!

After our baking adventure, I got to thinking about Kate's curiosity of when the flour, eggs, butter, etc were going to be cookies. I kept saying to myself, "are they cookies yet?" And it reminded me of my own journey. This past year I have had more than once looked up to heaven and said to God, "are we there yet?" or "are we done yet?" I have loved this journey, I have loved the growth and I am in love with who I am and who I am becoming. It's so exciting, but I do get in these moments of growing pain and sorrow and I'm like, "God...what more can you do? Am I not done yet?" 

Here is my latest growing pain. My #startswithLOVE journey is all about finding my identity in Christ, and the latest part of my journey is reclaiming things about myself that are gifts from God. Here is the thing about not knowing your identity or having your identity in the wrong lens, the good and deeply rooted qualities about us become objects of attack. I am a pretty sensitive woman, I have a very discerning heart and feel deeply for others. I love fully and hurt deeply, I know no other way. However, over the years, these qualities became an undoing for many relationships and myself. I was “too sensitive”, “weak minded”, and “thought/cared too much.” I hated how much I cared. I tried to care less, but hated that as well. Processing through reclaiming my sensitivity and discernment, has been difficult. God has led me to situations that require great strength and great sensitivity. I have had to set boundaries where I never saw myself setting them. I can tell you this, it hasn't been easy, I have cried a lot and each time I  have looked to God and I said, "are we done yet, am I complete?"

How have I journeyed through these moments of pain? I remind myself that refinement through fire, requires a lot of heat, a lot of love, and a lot of hope. But the end results are worth it, because I will be made complete it Christ. I also  began to envision Psalm 139: 

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed body all the days, ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.” 

I started picturing God working in this dark room, Frankenstein style; I probably need a better vision, but He’s speaking life from his precious thoughts into this modeling clay, creating, etching, and forming me. This is what I envisioned him saying, “Hi beautiful one. You are going to be great, a masterpiece. Your name will be Sarah. It means princess, and sometimes you will act a little too much like one. And this will make me smile, because it’s in those moments you are being honest with your standards. And you deserve the best, so you will keep those standards high. And this is your heart. Sometimes it’s going to feel a little to big for your small frame, sometimes you will wonder why it hurts the way it does. But this heart is attached to your hands, and your hands will do great things. They will hold young children as they learn about me, they will hold young women who are battling to find themselves, and they will hold your family’s as your family takes on new shapes. Your heart will attach to your eyes, and you will cry A LOT. As beautiful as your face will be, my dear, you will be a not so beautiful crier, but it will be real and genuine and people will love your authenticity, because they will see me through it. Your tears will be a reflection of your sensitivity to the Spirit.” 

That’s just a glimpse, but it brings about an important point. Those qualities are things about myself that I allowed others  (and myself) to destroy and manipulate, but they are qualities that God created for me. I love myself enough to take joy in these gifts from God, and I also love myself enough to keep processing these gifts and letting them grow, no matter how tough the growing pains get. I'm "not done" yet and I find that exciting.

So friends. What are you journeying through? Where do you see your journey going?  Who are you becoming? What qualities about yourself do you feel God tapping and chiseling inside you?  Be encouraged. Jesus tells us to take heart, which I love because it sounds like a sweet southern saying,“…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." I don’t know what you are feeling or where you are in your journey, but take heart. Take heart, your pain is a just a faint whisper in this life. Our Lord is longing to love you deeply and take you along this beautiful journey! Take heart. You are chosen. You are loved. You are forgiven. You are worthy. 

Tell me your #startswithLOVE journey or even better, come to #startswithLOVE on Feb 14 from 9:30-11:30! 

 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1: 6-9

Eager Expectations

Happy New Year Friends!

We made it! 2015 is here and flying cars are still not a thing...BUT

I brought in the New Year in the best possible way! My brother married his best friend Katie, and it was the most beautiful and holy wedding I've been to. I am so grateful to have experienced that ceremony and witnessed how God has worked in their lives. I'm eagerly awaiting to see what all God has planned for them.

ea·ger

adjective \ˈē-gər\: very excited and interested : feeling a strong and impatient desire to do something or for something

Eagerness. That's the word of the year for me. A few of my friends have adopted words for the year, I've never heard of that before, but I love the idea. I will be praying the word "eager" this year. Eagerness...not only eagerness about God, but eagerness in my expectations of God's good and perfect will.

I thought of this metaphor as I sat in my car waiting for the heat to kick on to combat the arctic temperatures. You know when you are sitting in a cold car, watching that ticker slowly making it's way to the "c?" You know it's going to get there, and as soon as it get's there you crank up the fan knob to HIGH and the temperature knob to HOT. That's the eagerness I'm talking about. I want to constantly be on the edge of my seat seeking God, on the ready!

I have this friend, we will call her Joy, because she is full of it. I've been walking with her through some stuff. It's been such a healing process for both of us to share in this journey of change together. It's exciting. This friend and I, we actually haven't hung out in years, but over this time, God has worked on our hearts in a very mysterious and gracious way. She texted me a few weeks ago pouring out her heart, and crying for change in her life. She had reached this point, that I pray everyone gets to, where she was done with Satan's lies, and ready to live so fully into God's loving grace that she'd be lost. Completely lost. So I began to pray for her, I knew that feeling. That feeling of hope and dread and nausea all at once. That feeling of unavoidable change. That feeling...of eagerness. A few days after that she texted me this journal entry where she heard God say, "It's time to deal with this," and with that she had this amazing sense of hope and eager expectation. I love it! Goosebumps just thinking of it!

Because of this conversation with Joy, I began to pray about what it would look like if we kept that feeling all the time. Not just with the anticipation of Christmas and Christ coming, the New Year and new change, or Easter and Christ's defeat over death. But what if we eagerly expected the Lord and his good and perfect will everyday? Not that HUGE, life altering things have to happen or will happen everyday, but what if we just kept that eager and willing heart all year? 

For me, it's a scary thought. Last year, I began to change my prayer life, I began to wrestle with God, and I began to grow an eager and expecting spirit. That sounds great right, so why be scared? Because every time I prayed into that eager and hopeful feeling, God asked me to do something painful. I had to let go of a relationship that I thought was worth fighting for, I had to quit my jobs that I loved and was good at, I had to move to Kentucky and away from my family and friends, I had to start school (and that's just painful enough by itself, right),  AND I had to completely let go of all my expectations that I had set for my life. None of that was easy, and not one of those things felt good.BUT our God is a God of love, so I don't say those things to scare you. God loves me and knows my worth. Frankly, I was settling on being content with being discontent. I cannot imagine my life in a different state than it is in now, doors have opened to speak truth and love to people that wouldn't have opened before and so much of who I am now wouldn't have happened where I was before. The me who welcomed in 2014 is not the same person who bears her soul and tells her junk on the internet in 2015, and I owe it all to my eagerness to be a part of God's will for my life. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't painless...but it was totally worth it.

I want to look at Isaiah 43: 18-21

Forget the former things;    do not dwell on the past.See, I am doing a new thing!    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?I am making a way in the wilderness    and streams in the wasteland. The wild animals honor me,    the jackals and the owls,because I provide water in the wilderness    and streams in the wasteland,to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself    that they may proclaim my praise.

When I read this passage, I read eagerness. I hear eager expectations. Do you? Here, read it this way, "SEE! I am doing something NEW. GET EXCITED. GET INTRIGUED. GET PUMPED! Do you not see it? Well, get ready because THIS IS HAPPENING! In fact it has ALREADY STARTED. I am doing EXCITING stuff, and it is ALL for my GLORY. Come on! Be A PART! I WANT you to be A PART" 

Friends...2015...it's HAPPENING and it's HERE...Are you excited? Are you intrigued? Are you pumped? Are you ready for God to show up and make major moves in your lives? This is my prayer for you. I pray that you wake up each and every day of 2015 expecting the Lord to show up! The most wonderful part of that expectation is you won't ever be disappointed...it is an assured promise.

• And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20

• Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139: 7-10

• Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it. Isaiah 30:21

Be intrigued. Be excited. Be eager.

Happy New Year!

-Sarah

Three Little Words

Have you ever noticed that the strongest phrases are always three little words? The first two that come to mind, "I love you" and "I hate you." Even just typing that last one made me cringe, bleck. I do not like that phrase. And then, why is it so hard to say, "I love you?" Why is it this nerve racking thing to do in a relationship? Just envisioning saying that again to someone romantically is making me sweat right now. Seriously, come feel my palms. That phrase is difficult for me to say beyond my family members. I love a lot of people, but for some reason it feels like I'm playing Chubby Bunny when I say it. Does anyone else experience this?

In two weeks 2014 will come to an end. Can you believe that? Man, this year, it's been a doosey. As much as I am so ready to close it and start afresh, I can't help but step back and be thankful for the tough journey. Jesus wasn't lying when he said this in Matthew 7, "13 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Small and narrow...difficult but worth it...is road that leads to life. I came across this quote from Oswald Chambers the other day and it took my breath away. If someone was like, "Sarah what is your 2014 yearbook quote?" This would be it, "If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.” My purpose? To make people feel loved. Specifically, to help women who have experienced pain and are hurting from deep wounds to see and feel the love of Christ and to find confidence beyond anything they knew was possible in the grace of God. 

How do we make people feel loved? By saying three little words to them? Yes, but more importantly helping them hear and experience God saying those words to them. Here is the thing about being deeply wounded, we learn to listen to the other "three little words" (the h word) more than the "l word." We listen to a lot of three little words: You're ugly, you're unworthy, you're pathetic, you are dumb, you are average, you are foolish, you have failed, you keep failing, you should quit....etc, etc. I hope none of those sound familiar, but I know that for a lot of you, they do. When we listen to those phrases for so long, we become immune to the positive things people say and the truth that Christ is speaking to us through others. So how do we overcome the lies Satan speaks not only to us but to the ones we love? By being annoying! Yes! By showing love on top of love to others. Genuinely though. We need to be genuinely annoying!

But, seriously. When I was first working through my healing process, people annoyed the heck out of me. Texting me, calling me, lying to me....oops did I say that? What they were doing was speaking truth to me, and the truth was...how can I put this lightly... ANNOYING AS HELL! I can't describe it, in my mind I knew they were speaking truth, but I just was so hardened to it that it felt fake. Eventually though, looking back, I'm so so so so so so soo grateful beyond measure for their persistence. I began to believe what they were saying to me, and eventually, I heard my Savior saying those things to me.

Words are powerful. "Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." That is a load of crap...stop telling people that. "The tongue has the power of life and death.."- Proverbs 18:21. Words are powerful and words haunt us. Broken bones heal, but the emotional damage from words, that's deeper than physical pain. It use to be easier for me to look back and pick out the hurtful things people said to me than it was to find the encouragement. Not so much anymore. We have to help people find confidence. We have to help people find grace. We have to help people find those things in the Lord. And we have to be patient with them through the process. Give them space, give them grace, but keep loving them. The worst thing someone can hear from you, is to "get over it," another three little word phrase that can further the feeling of defeat. Let's look at this passage from James (3:5) and consider it's power, "Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." What if the forest fire we start in someone is one of grace, truth, and the powerful and healing love of Jesus Christ? 

Need some help finding the words to speak? Here are some more extremely powerful three little words to tell people: 
You are loved. 
You are worthy.
You are forgiven.
You are strong.
You are dignified.
You are beautiful (or handsome).
You are smart.
You are important.
You are precious. 
You are irreplaceable. 
You have purpose. 
You have promise. 
I love you. Always, always, always. I love you. 

So my prayer for you as you cruise into 2015, is that you allow God to break your heart for what breaks his. I pray that he breaks your heart in a way that reveals his purpose, his plan, and his will for your life and the lives around you. I pray that he breaks your heart in a way that refines you, strengthens you, and gives you boldness to proclaim his name. Let there be a victory in our lives and the lives around us because we know we are loved by the Father and there is NOTHING that even comes close to comparing. 

You are great. You are wonderful. You are special. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

Choose Strength: A Thanksgiving Post

This Thanksgiving, I am filled with many emotions. I am thankful for so many things, like...
My parents, duh, they are the best
My brother and my new sister, Katie
My extended family for allowing me to come visit
Answered Prayers
Sports
Passing Grades
etc...

But, the thing I am really the most thankful for, is my new beginning and the strength the Lord gave me to get here. It was a wobbly past year. I felt the stir to move and start school when my heart and faith were weak. I moved with a little more strength, but not much. The last few months however, I have felt this surge of strength. Every day I wake up, I choose to be stronger, because I choose the Lord.

At every point, decision, and turn in our lives we have the opportunity to choose strength. Things are going to get you down, days are going to stink, and seasons will be flat out crappy to get through, but in each of those moments you can choose to be strong and strong in the Lord and his promise to deliver.

I am reminded of the woman who was prone to bleeding in Matthew. It's not a huge and significant passage in Matthew. Actually it's stuck right in the middle of Jesus going to raise the dead girl in Matthew 9. The lady was in the crowd, and she knew if she could just touch the robe of Jesus, just the thread, she would be healed. A small amount of faith, lead to great amounts of strength.

Sometimes the things we have to do in life are hard, but the majority of life is pretty great. But that pretty great part, is up to us. We can sit and hide from the potential God has given us, or we can stand up in our weakness, with our tiny mustard seed of faith, and be strong, and do GREAT things.

I'm thankful for weakness.
I'm thankful for courage.
I'm thankful for healing.
I'm thankful for STRENGTH.

And I'm thankful for you!

Choose Strength.
#sheisstrong

 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

Unlock the Door

I've been thinking about my Grandma Thomas lately. I think one reason is because my brother and I have had a really exciting year. Big life changes, kind of year. I wish she could be a part, but even more, I know my mom wishes she was here to experience it all.  I'd love to hear her reaction, thoughts, and feelings about the stuff that I'm journeying through. I know she'd probably be really proud of me and say, "that's good." We weren't too big on expression in that family. If my grandpa wanted to say he loved us, he'd changed the wiper fluid. One thing I do remember well, is my Grandma made her opinion known through her expression. I was looking through pictures, and I finally learned where I got my turned up nose, roll of the eyes look. Y'all know what I mean. Here...Look. Love that little nose.

I loved her so much. She taught me many things in my life, but the most important lesson I learned from her was patience. She was a tiny, little angel. She was the most patient and loving woman that I knew, she taught the women in the family to be strong and loving. My mom had a great role model, and now I have two. I found her gloves in my pocket the other day, right in the middle of a stress ball of a week, and I sat and wept. It was just a reminder to slow down, be patient, and push on.

This post isn't about patience. Sorry mom and Aunt Elaine, I'm sure I've got the tears going already...hold on one more minute. 

Who could stay mad at this face?

I have a story to share with you. I don't know why, other than God working in my life that this story came to my mind when it did. I was a very hard-headed child. I still am quite stubborn, but I've calmed down tremendously. One summer, we were visiting my grandparents in Terre Haute, which is only a few hours away from Chicago. My mom and dad decided to take a day trip there with my brother John, while I would spend some quality time with Grandma. I was probably about 4 at this time, so this is more of a story memory than an actual memory, for all I know, it was John that got left...Anyways, I apparently was very ill with this decision and locked myself in the room for the entirety of the trip. Nothing my grandma said or did got me out of that room. #stubborn #hardheaded #Iknow Looking/thinking back, I bet my grandma had some really fun things

planned for us, because we did a lot together, and I probably missed out on a great day. My family likes to remind me of this from time to time, and I honestly have a mix of shame and guilt when I think about this, and then I remember I was like 4...so there isn't much I can do now. When I was 18, I started making trips to the Haute on my own to spend time with them, and I can't express how thankful I am that I did that.

I was thinking about this story and it hit me, "How many times have I pitched a fit and missed out on life?" I mean, literally, I have pitched a lot of fits in my life, I had some brat like tendencies. But, beyond that, how many times have I been so focused on what I had not, what I was lacking, or why I was going through a hurting season, and not seen, heard, or followed the call of God? How many lives went unloved by me because I was sitting in my ill-willed mind? How many fun journeys and life experiences have I missed because I just ignored the greater design of life? Even worse...how many times did I clearly hear God call me somewhere, and I ignored it, because it wasn't "as fun?" 

I felt a clear call to come to seminary, I dropped everything, and left. I haven't seriously regretted it yet (just small grumbles), because I KNEW that God wasn't just calling me back to school, he was calling me on an incredible journey. I could have stayed and wallowed in my hurt, or I could have unlocked the door and enjoy. I know there have been times were I felt similar callings, not huge life transitioning ones, but gentle nudges to do things, and I ignored them intentionally. I know that people still heard and felt the the love of God with out me, because His will WILL be done, with or with out me. 

So, if God is planning a fun filled day/journey/life, why not experience it? God longs for us to be a part of His story, but his story doesn't stop because we have decided to be stubborn and choose our own will, our own way. His story doesn't end because we lock ourselves in our rooms because we don't agree with what's happening. So if His story continues with or with out us....why not just be a part of it?

Live a life in eager expectation of what lies ahead. Go on an adventure with the one who has planned more than you've ever imagined. 

Unlock the door!

--SM

Let's be Real

I've been toying around with what to blog about for the past couple of weeks. A lot has been on my mind, and I want to express everything, but I also know that not everyone needs to know everything. Some ideas have been finding balance, singleness, and my goal to finding and keeping hope.  I don't want to be redundant, repetitively so, in my push for us to find hope, but it was the winner. The purpose of this blog as a whole is to find healing for our wounds, and healing involves hope, a lot of it.

First off, this post was really difficult for me to write. I felt more vulnerable then normal. Mainly, because I'm writing about insecurities that I've been shoving under the rug. Let me start off with something familiar. Proverbs 31:25 (my mantra, my passion, my purpose) "She is CLOTHED in STRENGTH and DIGNITY..." Reading this post, let's be vulnerable together. Where being insecure leaves us naked out in the cold, being vulnerable acknowledges our nakedness and clothes us with strength! Let's begin!



I've been on this journey of sitting and listening to the Lord. Sometimes I actually do hear stuff, clearly and directly, but mostly, I feel things. I feel nudges in my thoughts. So here we go. Time to get real. Here's the major nudge lately.

God’s been nudging my heart about singleness. (Not like, “haha…you’re single” kind of nudging because that belongs to Satan. He is the father of lies.) God's been stretching my mind, filling gaps and holes, illuminating areas of growth, giving me freedom, and you guessed it, hope.  Here’s the thing about God. He loves to watch us grow, like nobody’s business. He loves it! But, he refuses to leave us at a plateau. There will always be room for new growth. That’s the business of hope you know.  Look here: 

“And we REJOICE in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has POURED OUT his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” 

Romans 5:2-5

I am living these verses out. The Holy Spirit has made itself known in such a mighty way as I journey through processing my thoughts and feelings about this stage of my life. I said it a few posts ago, but I really thought moving here would solve everything immediately. I was wrong. Brokenness still remains, but there is so much joy in my life, that I truly see beauty in this brokenness and I wouldn't change how I feel for a moment. So that’s good. Here’s some truth though. I still struggle with a lot of insecurities. Mostly I have this huge insecurity of worth. Let me be real with you. I really want to be worth someone’s time. I want to be treasured. I want someone to acknowledge who I am, my heart, my emotions, my fears, all of it. I thought that’s what I wanted at least. I thought finding someone in this brokenness would be the bees knees.  This is where the Holy Spirit has been like, “HEY! Look at me, look at me, start thinking about this for a minute, see what you think.” What if I started taking those desires I CRAVE from men, and I actually sought after and sat with those thoughts with the Lord? Because, do you want to know something? He is always, ALWAYS validating us. It’s long, but let's take a look at David's (a KING for goodness sake!) struggle with insecurity in Psalm 139 (I've added some emphasis that I want you to notice): 

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you. (Psalm 139:1-18 NIV)

Psalm 139…let’s just thank the Lord for it for a minute. David's search for validation from God provides everything I crave from men. Our God, is constantly validating us if we would just listen and sit. He knows when and where we go, he knows our thoughts, he sees and loves our body, he knows our workings, he knows our weakness and failures, strengths and accomplishments, and still chooses to love us. My biggest insecurity is not being on someone’s priority list. Now, I don’t want someone to be obsessed with me, but I want to feel like a factor. I've been a factor to the King of Kings since He knit me together, with precise and intricate detail in our secret place. That's pretty validating. 

I won’t get into all my insecurities on here, they are many in number. But, I know there are some of you who may read this and think, “how does she know what I’m thinking?!” Don't worry, I can’t read your mind, but the business of insecurity is so alive in this generation (women and men, but really I can only speak for women). We live in a culture where we are taught that we are less than, and we shouldn’t speak about our feelings of "less-than-ness". I have this vision. I have this vision of a generation of women rising up, claiming their insecurities and nailing them to the cross of our Savior. It’s a pretty earth shattering vision. The bravest thing you can say to someone in your broken journeys is, "me too." Be vulnerable in the struggle.

                           

Okay! So if you are feeling less than, please know that is not our Heavenly Father speaking over you. Satan is really good at what he does. Here is an example: One night I was having a pity party. I had been struggling with some mistakes made, things said and not said, forgiveness that needed to be given, etc etc. You know how pity parties work, right? I’m not the only one! And I heard so clearly, “You know Sarah, the wage of sin is death.  And this sin, this insecurity, and this weaknesses of yours they define you. They’re not worth getting over, because, you have already lost the battle. Truth is, you are not worth it. Haven’t you learned that by now from all your failed relationships? No one wants to be with you, because you need to much. You are not that important. You confidence is undeserving.” To be honest with you I allowed those thoughts to sit with me and break my spirit and my heart. Those words sounded so familiar. “The wage of sin is death…” man that sounds familiar doesn’t it? Here is why: “For the wage of sin is death….BUT the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”-Romans 6:23. It sounded familiar because it is SCRIPTURE. Satan knows scripture, but he leaves out really, REALLY important parts. The wage of sin is death, but we were deemed worthy and given the gift of eternal life. How much more validation do I need than Jesus Christ choosing me, choosing to forgive ME, on that cross on Calvary? With mockers on his left and right. He laid on that cross and chose me. I don’t know about you, but when I put it in that light, nothing else matters. I’m worthy. And so are you. Jesus didn’t pick his favorites or say iniminiminimo, I pick the very best one. He didn’t close his eyes, point his finger, and spin around. He chose you. You are precious. You are worthy. That insecurity that is mocking you, that sin that keeps tripping you up, it’s not of a Holy presence. Know that.

So, promise me something, let’s conquer this lie that’s been whispered (and sometimes yelled) to us. Let’s acknowledge the thoughts, don’t ignore them, but then after saying "hey" to that thought, let's say a firm "goodbye" and let’s let go of it and nail it on the cross. Let’s be brave together. I promise to go on this journey with you. Let’s step out on grace. Let’s live in the freedom of forgiveness. Cool?

If you want to continue this conversation in real life, I’d love to chat with you. Let’s not hide anymore.

To close…

Don’t ignore those little nudges because it's most likely going to change your life.

Know your loved...

...by the Father

...by the King

...by the Holy of Holies.

Be confident and secure because our Rock cannot and will not be shaken.

I love you. I really do. But more importantly so does God. Seriously. I promise you. Pinky promise. There is not a truer promise than the love that is lavished over us. 

Who the Son sets free, he is free indeed.