Have you ever noticed that the strongest phrases are always three little words? The first two that come to mind, "I love you" and "I hate you." Even just typing that last one made me cringe, bleck. I do not like that phrase. And then, why is it so hard to say, "I love you?" Why is it this nerve racking thing to do in a relationship? Just envisioning saying that again to someone romantically is making me sweat right now. Seriously, come feel my palms. That phrase is difficult for me to say beyond my family members. I love a lot of people, but for some reason it feels like I'm playing Chubby Bunny when I say it. Does anyone else experience this?
In two weeks 2014 will come to an end. Can you believe that? Man, this year, it's been a doosey. As much as I am so ready to close it and start afresh, I can't help but step back and be thankful for the tough journey. Jesus wasn't lying when he said this in Matthew 7, "13 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Small and narrow...difficult but worth it...is road that leads to life. I came across this quote from Oswald Chambers the other day and it took my breath away. If someone was like, "Sarah what is your 2014 yearbook quote?" This would be it, "If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.” My purpose? To make people feel loved. Specifically, to help women who have experienced pain and are hurting from deep wounds to see and feel the love of Christ and to find confidence beyond anything they knew was possible in the grace of God.
How do we make people feel loved? By saying three little words to them? Yes, but more importantly helping them hear and experience God saying those words to them. Here is the thing about being deeply wounded, we learn to listen to the other "three little words" (the h word) more than the "l word." We listen to a lot of three little words: You're ugly, you're unworthy, you're pathetic, you are dumb, you are average, you are foolish, you have failed, you keep failing, you should quit....etc, etc. I hope none of those sound familiar, but I know that for a lot of you, they do. When we listen to those phrases for so long, we become immune to the positive things people say and the truth that Christ is speaking to us through others. So how do we overcome the lies Satan speaks not only to us but to the ones we love? By being annoying! Yes! By showing love on top of love to others. Genuinely though. We need to be genuinely annoying!
But, seriously. When I was first working through my healing process, people annoyed the heck out of me. Texting me, calling me, lying to me....oops did I say that? What they were doing was speaking truth to me, and the truth was...how can I put this lightly... ANNOYING AS HELL! I can't describe it, in my mind I knew they were speaking truth, but I just was so hardened to it that it felt fake. Eventually though, looking back, I'm so so so so so so soo grateful beyond measure for their persistence. I began to believe what they were saying to me, and eventually, I heard my Savior saying those things to me.
Words are powerful. "Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." That is a load of crap...stop telling people that. "The tongue has the power of life and death.."- Proverbs 18:21. Words are powerful and words haunt us. Broken bones heal, but the emotional damage from words, that's deeper than physical pain. It use to be easier for me to look back and pick out the hurtful things people said to me than it was to find the encouragement. Not so much anymore. We have to help people find confidence. We have to help people find grace. We have to help people find those things in the Lord. And we have to be patient with them through the process. Give them space, give them grace, but keep loving them. The worst thing someone can hear from you, is to "get over it," another three little word phrase that can further the feeling of defeat. Let's look at this passage from James (3:5) and consider it's power, "Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." What if the forest fire we start in someone is one of grace, truth, and the powerful and healing love of Jesus Christ?
Need some help finding the words to speak? Here are some more extremely powerful three little words to tell people:
You are loved.
You are worthy.
You are forgiven.
You are strong.
You are dignified.
You are beautiful (or handsome).
You are smart.
You are important.
You are precious.
You are irreplaceable.
You have purpose.
You have promise.
I love you. Always, always, always. I love you.
So my prayer for you as you cruise into 2015, is that you allow God to break your heart for what breaks his. I pray that he breaks your heart in a way that reveals his purpose, his plan, and his will for your life and the lives around you. I pray that he breaks your heart in a way that refines you, strengthens you, and gives you boldness to proclaim his name. Let there be a victory in our lives and the lives around us because we know we are loved by the Father and there is NOTHING that even comes close to comparing.
You are great. You are wonderful. You are special. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
