Let go and let God...in THREE EASY STEPS!

Have you ever had someone give you those quaint little "church sayings?"
"God's got a plan." 
"This was God's plan." 
"Good things come to those who wait!" 
"Let Go! And Let God!" 

Yea... me too! I'll be honest, I hate those sayings. I don't hate them because they are false , I hate them because they don't help the situation. Generally speaking, if you hear one of those sayings, you are going through a rough patch.

I am of a generation that demands instant gratification. I am also a doer and a fixer. I am active and reactive. All these things, don't mix well. I want what I want, and I want it now! Actually I went to the doctor one time and she said, "I want you feeling better, yesterday." EXACTLY. She gets it! I want what I want and I want it YESTERDAY.

I will tell you the most frustrating thing I find about God. Yes, I find him frustrating. He is beautiful and I love Him, but He makes me so frustrated. He is sneaky. I have found the more I plan for my life to ease my anxiety, the more anxious I become. See, I love a good plan. 95% of the time, when I go out to eat, I read the menu, because I want to know what I'm getting into. Lately though, the more I let go of planning, the more joyful and hopeful I feel. It's scary and I hate it. Don't take this as laziness, because, yes, I have a general plan of what's going to happen, I'm going back to school, and I'm going to work my little booty off, and I am going to do what God has called me to do. But beyond the 2 years of school....I have not a clue.

All this time I spend making plans, God is just quietly whispering..."Be Still, and know that I am God. You need only be still my anxious daughter. You need only to be still." (Ps 46:10) If you have ever sat next to me for a short period of time, you know I have a shaky leg. It shakes, not because I'm nervous, but because I find great difficulty in being still. But, that is all God has asked me to do. Be still, mentally, physically, emotionally...just BE.

Letting go is not as easy as saying "let it go." I wish it was for your sake and mine. God calls us to live joyful lives and sometimes we will have pain and suffering in the midst of that joy. Don't bypass the pain, sometimes pain needs to be felt.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings,because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.Romans 5: 1-5

So the title of this blog is kind of a joke. You can't become a better person in 3 easy steps, no matter what book you read, you just can't. But here are 3 things you can remember in your process of letting go.

1. Keep your eyes on the prize. Our future glory with God!
2. Be patient. God is doing big things, but the results you see may seem small.
3. Live in each moment. Even the super, duper crappy moments. They are part of the refinement process. If you aren't happy, then be sad. If you want to cry, just do it. If you want to scream, do it, but at God or in a pillow. "Fake it until you make it" is the worst euphemism ever said. Be present, be real, be honest. 

Keep going warrior!

Sweet Jesus 

May we find hope because we hope in You. May we find rest because we rest in You. May we find joy because You are our Joy.

Amen. 

Validation

It's no secret that I have had some pretty significant life changes over the past few months. It's also no secret that the kick start to these life changes was a broken heart. Even when I was devastated, I had a crazy, confident strength that God was doing something much bigger than I could imagine. I was right...clearly, because seminary was not even on my radar, at all. Even though I KNEW God was moving and working, I was still hurting. My heart and soul physically ached. Romans 8:26 says this, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." I kid you not. From March-May my prayer life was this desperate groan for God. I literally would lay on my bed and open my mouth and just...groan. I don't say this to make you feel sorry for me, because truly my heart is on such an incredible journey. I can't even imagine my life differently, nor do I want to. I say all this to bring about today's blog topic, validation.

It was during my counseling sessions where I just broke down and said, "I never want to do this again. EVER. I'm angry, hurt, lost, sad, and frankly, I'M PISSED!" My therapist said that I was grieving two things, the loss of the relationship itself, and the loss of the validation. While  I'm  healed from not having that person in my life, it's the loss of the validation in my life that I'm hurting over. Validation is a powerful source of confidence and it's a verbal and physical proof of worthiness. I had been in an "A frame" relationship and when that other side of the "A" left, I fell flat on my face. So how can I learn to love people (not just romantic relationships, all relationships!) wholly, like I do naturally, but still not rely on their validation? I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. And I've got to tell you this "own two feet journey" has been INCREDIBLE. I have made new, deep, and lasting friendships. I have established a richer prayer life. I have experienced true discipleship. AND I am in the best shape of my life! Healthy body=Healthy Spirit! I mean, dang, I did a mud run this past week, just to prove to myself that I am strong on my own (and with an awesome gal pal!). 5.6 miles, 22 obstacles, 100% PURE and HOLY FUN!

Before

After

God has called us to live in community and fellowship with others, but he has also called us to live completely reliant on HIM. It's easier for me to call a friend and vent than it is to go to God in prayer. There is an immediate response and sense of comfort with the friend. I'm not saying we can't call our friends and vent, but there needs to be a balance between prayer and study, and discussion with friends. Because then we are in those moments where we are physically alone, which we will all have those moments, we will have a strong confidence in what God is doing. 

I love Romans 8. Romans 8: 24-25 says, "...hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." I am an anxious woman, but my hope is that God continues to build strength and dignity in me through each circumstance I face in life. My steady, two feet are waiting for me at Asbury. I will be on my own, away from everything that is comfortable and I can't think of a better way to find myself and who God wants me to be. My prayer is that I can continue to have hope that the promises of God's good and healing plan for my life and the daily forgiveness of my sins is validation enough. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.-Romans 8:28 

But he was pierced for our transgressions,  he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. -Isaiah 53:5

We are chosen. We are loved. We are forgiven. We are worthy. 

Open Hearts. Open Minds. Open Doors.

The United Methodist Church uses the slogan, "Open Hearts. Open Minds. Open Doors." It is how we view our ministry. I love this phrase. Lately, I've been trying to live it daily. UMC affiliation or not, how often are you living your life honestly and authentically? How many hours of your day do you find yourself putting on airs to appeal to others' needs?

So, in my prayers to live life more honestly with others, God laid blogging on my heart. As I was thinking of blogging, I had three separate people tell me I should start one. I have this rule of three. If three people say the same exact thing, that's when I begin to think God is trying to tell me something. It may not be weekly, and honestly it may not be monthly, but I will share my heart as I feel led. Maybe this will serve as a journal for me, maybe it will help you find peace in being honest in your life, or maybe no one will read this at all! I don't know! But, I'm excited to start this!

I have some pretty shocking news for you...you are a broken person! Yep! YOU! Do you want to know the beauty of brokenness? God makes beauty from ashes. God makes beauty from our broken imperfections.

So here you go. Let's start of with some of my brokenness! My name is Sarah. It means princess, sometimes I act too much like one. I cuss too much. Sometimes I have a glass of wine in the middle of the week! I eat too much fried food. I online shop too much. I worry a lot. I worry about my future. I'm scared that my expectations of life won't be met.  Having endometriosis scares me, even though I tell people it doesn't. I struggle with insecurity and anxiety. I have to take an anti-depressant for my anxiety, and I am thankful I started it. I see a counselor, and that's okay. I'm a mess, but I'm a beautiful mess.

#openhearts #openminds #opendoors